Talk is cheap.
Do you ever feel like half the world is running on a different set of rules to the other half? Almost two years ago an old friend of mine asked to borrow some money to help him achieve a project that he was obviously excited about. He said he’d pay me back in three months when he got a grant for a bike ride and I accepted this but he missed this deadline and all the ones he subsequently set, finally paying the back almost two years later. He succeeded in his quest, achieved the outcome he was looking for but has in my mind failed to get there with integrity. He also was extremely selective when telling me why he was struggling financially, forgetting that the facts of the case were being reported in the national newspapers at the time. Now you might be right if you were to suggest that I don’t pick my friends very well but it does seem strange to me that someone would make a clear promise and then make excuses when he fails to deliver. Although I’m upset about not getting my money I am more disappointed that my ‘friend’ doesn’t think he needs to keep his promises to me.
Maybe it’s my line of work but I find that I come across quite a few people that tell me they are going to do something and then end up doing something completely different or nothing at all. If I push them on it they usually have a great excuse but the fact still remains that they made a promise, set a deadline, agreed a course of action and then failed to deliver.
On my goal setting programme, Getting Exactly What You Want, I get people to set a 10 week goal. I ensure that the goals are well defined and accurate and to keep people motivated I ask people to attach a reward and consequence to it (how they will reward themselves when they achieve it and what price they will pay if they don’t get there). I then help people to become really committed to their goal by making the whole process as transparent as possible and publishing all the goals to everyone involved. Even with all this in place a percentage of the goal setters never communicate with me again, they don’t deliver on their promise and, what is worse, I suspect they don’t take their consequence when they fail!
Now either these people didn’t think enough about their goal before they set it or they don’t have the self discipline to carry through on what they promised. To me it’s really simple; if you promise something – you deliver; if you’re not sure about it, don’t promise. If you promise something and fail to deliver then be accountable, admit your mistakes and do everything you can to put things right.
I always feel let down when people fail to deliver on their promises. Let down in the sense they don’t think enough about their word, their integrity. I’m quite happy for people to attempt something and fail – in fact I think failure is very important but what I hate is if they then try to wriggle out of their commitment or try and hide behind some lame excuse.
After reading Seth Goddon’s book, Tribes, I’ve decided to form my own tribe of people. People that deliver on their promises and if they fail, they admit their mistakes and put things right because I’m sick of dealing with the ones that don’t. I’m going to call this the TIC tribe; the Talk Is Cheap tribe.
• Talk is cheap.
• Actions speak louder than words.
• What you do speaks so loud that I can’t hear what you say.
To become a member is really simple; you need to have:
1. Set a big goal
2. Worked really hard to achieve it probably with much pain and failure on the way.
3. Achieved it and then told people about it.
4. If you failed then you immediately admitted your mistakes and kept trying until you succeeded.
If you’re a member of the TIC tribe you’d get to know other TICs. Imagine what it would be like just to do business with other TICs, how much less hassle you’d experience? What would work be like if you only employed members of the TIC tribe?
I’d like my kids to grow up surrounded by TICs; they’re going to be influenced by the people around them and I’d like them to learn integrity and commitment from people like you.
I’ve not decided how this is going to work yet but if you’d like to join my tribe then please let me know and send this onto other carefully selected people who qualify.